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pocketterrorist:

niggawillyoushutthefuckup:

vinebox:

If your girl does this…run.

She’s Creating an elaborate plot so she could fuck with you on an EXISTENTIAL level

this is funny.

styleofdress:

because i hate it when people post these without recipes, here are all of them. some of these aren’t EXACTLY the same, but they’re close enough to still be delicious.

triple layer brownie cake / cherry bliss brownie / chocolate truffle layer cake / snickers peanut butter brownie ice cream cake / surprise inside ice cream balls / chocolate filled cream puffs / brownie cookies / chocolate snickers cake / chocolate lasagna / double chocolate brownies

(Source: shams94)

hootaloo:

hootaloo:

bowrll:

mortisreptus:

fireskink:

alltailnolegs:

mcsprankles:

idcsam:

shadow-pop:

whatisagorman:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency

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YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD

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911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN

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YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS

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911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER

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MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.

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YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ

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TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

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911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.

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yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.

(Source: babylizard)

myjackdanielsromance:

I find it funny when people get offended when you stop talking to them after they hurt you. Like I am obliged to make you feel better about yourself by pretending everything is alright. No I’m not alright, i don’t want to speak to you. If you want me to talk to you, maybe try talking first. The words I’m sorry would make a good start.

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